Romance 102

The King’s Act

No, it wasn’t all about women. I know we’ve gone through enough with being just female not to have to be targeted by some amateur human behaviour observer. So here’s The King’s Act.

Hello some-men. You are the ones who forever want to be treated as King’s but act like brutish heathens with no class or sense of propriety. Like it’s proper to return the favours your women/partners bestow on you. If she washes your clothes, cooks your dinners, cleans the house, bears you children, tolerates your creepy, overbearing mother and worse father; then pay her back duly. Say take her out for dinner, buy her a beautiful dress(only if you have eyes for shopping by the way), treat her to a spa day and if she’s not one for such European sophistication, then get her a practical thing she really wants; like a lovely sweater, or the kids off her hands for one day; do the dishes; stop tracking dirt into the house especially after she’s just cleaned it and do not irritate her thoughtlessly. If she doesn’t like the front door left open, close it once you’re through.

Some-men in Kenya are simply terrible to live with. Personally, all men are terrible to live with but a few people I’ve seen over the years differ with me on that subject and since I haven’t lived with anyone but my family, I’m going to take their word on it. So, all men like to be treated with respect, pride, and admiration. Some men forget that these traits are earned not simply given. So they walk around with their egos and puffed out chests and attract women whose fathers had the same characteristics and draw them into marriage and then expect more regard.

Only maybe the women they married aren’t out for someone who has no regard in return for them. The reason some, if not most marriages with such dynamics, don’t work out is because the men are selfish and self centred. Everything has to be on their terms and no one elses. Financially, sexually and even interactively. They want their wives to do everything for them and they will do nothing in return. They won’t satisfy them sexually, they won’t give them moral support and they won’t compliment them ever. If anything, they’ll even insult their partners’ shortcomings. Then they wonder why their nice adoring wife turns into a cold, belligerent partner in record time after the lust fades.

Listen up(rather read) some-men, it’s about time you chucked your head out of cloud selfish and took a good look around. Humans are energy so they need energy to survive or they become a blackhole. Being selfish takes energy from other people, while being selfless gives energy to other people. While you’re busy believing forcing your partner to do your every bidding is giving you a great life, soon enough your partner will become a blackhole which sucks everything around itself into its abyss and then you’ll start grumbling about how your wife is cold and unresponsive and let herself go and you’ll have affairs because you need to replenish energy that your partner is siphoning from you when everything would start being balanced out by a kind word or simple loving gesture.

Telling your wife she’s done a good job might be a hard thing to do if you’ve never experienced it as a second-nature but your words can make her happy. You might not be able to afford a trinket or dress but a meaningful she’s beautiful when you see her or thank you when she does something for you can go a longer way than a bracelet tossed at her. Make some decisions on your own like what to have for dinner and when to wake up but share other decisions with her like your family visiting and bill payments and staying out overnight. Sexual satisfaction does cover more ground than a day at the spa. Surprise her by picking her up at work or take her shopping at the supermarket; buy her an alice band that compliments her or a novel of her favourite genre if she’s a reader. If she likes movies, take her out over the weekend to a movie you’ve probably heard her mention. Make her a mix of her favourite music or if you can’t afford that, when you’re on the radio and her favourite song comes on, no matter how much you hate it, call her attention and turn up the volume for her. Listen to her when she’s talking and make her smile. Believe it or not, smiling at a woman makes her smile back. It’s infectious.

Most women are practical; and most women who end up with some-men compromise a lot without really accepting the situation. So little irritations become big problems and if some-men end up loving their partners, addressing a lack of balance in their relationship would help them be in a satisfying coupling.

This is a general call, to some-men, to stop being selfish and ignorant of their actions in this world romantic-wise. Men groan physically but not in personality so they expect to be treated like they are seven while they treat everyone else without regard. Save romance and be decent people.