We lie together, as not long afore. His silence isn’t reassuring, it’s killing me softly. He said the words before unveiling me he said he loves me. Was it a lie? He won’t look at me; I don’t search his eyes. I can sense it was a mistake to him; he regrets it with his life. I knew I shouldn’t have given in; but I had felt him pull away; slide; and an abyss seemed to be creeping in; filling our romance that once held life.
I move to touch him; there he lies; still. I feel his heart beating; watch his chest fall and rise. Is it beating for me? I know the answer will make me cry. I pull away, I pull in. He waits a while. I feign sleep and finally he moves; I can feel his eyes.
They search my face; I beg the tears not to fall. I don’t feel his love. He rolls to his other side, I open my eyes to see him take his phone. Must have felt me wake; says he’s going to the bathroom. I don’t need to ask for what the phone is. I see him dial one. Her number. He hadn’t erased it and I had always known why.
I turn on my side; I hug myself tight. Had I not been enough? Had I been enough? Enough for him to realise he’d made a mistake. He wanted her to return. He was the one to leave her. Searching for something different. Searching for me. Would she take him back? She’d be a fool not to. He’d always be the one she’d want. The tears burn. Dawn breaks; and yet, he doesn’t return.
I’m in the kitchen; doing things men like from their women. House is clean, food is ready. I wait; I listen. He comes in and gives me a kiss; whispers he is sorry. He had wanted a love like mine; but like my heart, he’ll leave it behind.
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