S2E5

Never having had the pleasure of watching the actual Rocky Horror Picture Show (RHPS) but having watched more than enough episodes on different shows including the movie as part of the show’s plot; and read a few fan fictions based on it, I feel like I know it. At least enough to pass judgement on Glee doing it. I mean, if ever there was a way to make Glee unpopular, make them do Rocky Horror rated G. And then put all the PSA crap Glee made funny in season 1 in it but leave out the funny.

So the episode isn’t about RHPS but about stealing girlfriends and image issues; mainly body and role (Asian kid can’t do a transvestite role). And Sue making everyone not American think Americans make whores of their children. Last I checked, pirates and bunnies were popular amongst the children.

So Finn is supposed to be insecure about his lack of abs (rather just one ab) and instead of bringing that to fore with a rather touching or message laden scene they (Murphy and sucky co) dumb it down to make it look like a kid whining about too little ice cream on a cold day. Personally, Finn should have projected more of an unconfident front about his body image issues and thereafter actually look like he was looking to better his body. And what quarterback isn’t abed?

And then Carl being in a teen production? Is it me or does no one else feel really uncomfortable with the thought of people soloing in productions with people half their age; literally half their age? First Will then Carl? And then Will again? DFC please. The adults should have had their issues running parallel to the RHPS rehearsals by going out to a Halloween costume party and dressing up as characters from the movie and trying to sway (Will anyway) Emma using their moves. That would have tied the Touchy Touchy Touch Me bit in well because all that scene did was prove teachers use their classrooms for sex hook ups after class; or during (who knows with TV). That would have set up Carl crashing the rehearsals even better while Mr. Schue’s paedy (or sad) ways would be completely detoured.

Really, the potential of the RHPS episode was so there. The adults coming across as silly (as Sue insinuated costuming was) while the kids appear more sober performing on stage. It would also have brought across the whole ‘It’s Halloween’ theme better.

Faithfully,

Hinged.

S2E4 Duets

I don’t really have a problem with boys making talk in the shower but when it’s been portrayed as very weird and wrong on Glee; I’m just gonna have to go out on a limb here and say, the Glee take on Nip/Tuck c’est tres uncomfortable. TRES! Only great thing to come of this episode was Eric Stoltz directing. He’s a fav.

How about leaving the whole Kurt-search-for-hearts out of the showers and taking it to where normal people have dates? Like on a bench at lunch or right before Schue’s Spanish class. (Honestly, does this kid do his paid-for job?)

Eh...Artie’s first time. They should have renamed this episode Uncomfortable 43 minutes. We get it, cheerleaders as hot as Britney put out; fine but could she not do Artie for once. Making Artie out to be an unkind kid is just messed up. Really messed up. How about Artie saying no to Brit’s come-ons and explaining later on when she wants to desperately know why he keeps turning her down why he wants his first time to be so special. Then she can take him and make it an even worse first time because she knew how special it was for him when Santana lets it slip that she was porking him for the win. Plus major plot fail, in season one, Artie’s selling point of a relationship to Tina was that he can use his penis sexually.

Blondies winning the duets competition not a shocker; would have been better if Kurt won. Just saying, his loneliness would have been more compounded by the solo dinner. He just looks more flamboyant dueting with Rachel. Not that that is bad but it certainly didn't help sustain his loneliness cause.

Faithfully,

Hinged.

S2E3

Cheesus!

Okay; main plot; Finn grills a cheese sandwich and gets the image of Jesus on it so he turns religious and Kurt’s Dad gets a heart attack but Finn doesn’t pray on it.

Okay, last time I forgot to give alternatives. I was swept up by the Britneysque episode. Can I sneak it in now? I’d have thrown Will’s eagerness to connect with OCD chic out and put in him lamenting his way through numerous chics at a speed dating scene singing womaniser or something. Then he can get flack about that not being appropriate behaviour while justifying Sue’s calls about Britney being a sexy bad influence.

Now on to Grilled Cheesus. Try as hard as I can, can’t separate God and state in this one (state being code for stupid episode). Apparently Ryan Murphy wanted to include Christians and religious people in the spirit of Glee with this episode. All I know is that he lured them in to get ripped and not in the good jokey way that they do at the Apollo.

I’m hoping someone got struck by lightning for doing this episode and no I am not a peaceable Christian. Falchuk falchucked this episode up. From the in-your-face heart health PSA (Kurt’s dad getting a heart attack like three minutes after Kurt warns him on the consequences of eating cholesterol laden foods) to the whole Christianity-is-only-good-for-personal-needs. It was all so wrong. Alternative? Thank you.

Finn approaching Mercedes about Christianity instead of cutting school in the middle of the day to pray for the opportunity to touch Rachel’s boobs. This would not only give Mercedes some actual light in performance away from being Ephy (dreamgirls) and also form some sort of relationship between Finn and Mercedes. Quinn could also have entered the mix and therein show that their feelings for each other were not over yet.

Kurt’s atheism being presented as more than a teenager throwing a tantrum in his effort to be more different than ever. Most atheists don’t go around asking for proof of a teapot floating around behind the moon; they just don’t have faith in a higher being. He should have been written to present the other non-stereotypical atheists; those who don’t believe in anything but themselves.

Rachel whoring out her body in exchange for her kids being raised Jewish. Is it me or is that really bigoted? How about the lead into second base being her testing her trust borders with Finn and seeing how she reacts to being sexual with her boyfriend?

Sue going after spirituality because she didn’t realise there is a difference between faith and physical reality. Sue’s the villain of the show, granted but couldn’t her villainous ways have been more of taking down Glee club for having a spirituality session in school when it’s clearly stated it’s not allowed.

Then taking away Finn’s discovery of faith at the end? Wow, not really ingenious there. I hope the golden globe wasn’t for this episode. Why not leave Finn’s faith intact or have him change from his superficial approach to faith ie being selfish in prayer to actually looking deeper into the faith of Christianity by ending the episode with him actually opening a Bible?

So much potential; so little effort.

Faithfully,

Hinged.

S2E2

Oh Britney; Spears that is although nice play with the S. Pierce Ryan Murphy; who doesn’t know you are an ultimate popstar and you being left out of last season’s theme episodes was atrocious? Apparently Falchuk, Murphy; Di Lorenta, Brennan and Mr. Schue. But for those of us who know the power of Britney Spears before Hold it Against Me came out, we were hoping the theme episode was saved because it would be so grade FE aka fucking EPIC. Really, I was there hoping for Kurt to name me as part of the five who joined the facebook cause to have BS on the show.

Was it grade FE? Eh, let’s drop the F and give Heather Morris and Naya Rivera Es for their EPIC work on the episode. Heather made it like a high-tech Brit cover and dare I say outBritted the Spears. The girl has moves like lava; hot and fluid. Sorry Spears, Morris replaces you on my Brit Vids.

And that’s where the EPIC Es end. Seriously Murphy; you sat down and thought Schue; the dude who understands the value of pop culture what with all the 80s hits he dished out in season one, would not understand Britney? Chink numero dos in the armour of episode two.  Chink numero uno was the introduction of John Stamos as Carl after his name dropping in season one. It was just stupid. Chink numero tres would be the whole Chevy ad thing. Product placements as a joke, funny; as blatant as that one was in episode two;  sad.

Then the whole Rachel channeling Spears thing was of placed. Would have made more of a splash if she chucked from the dentist’s office with a huge ass smile, gone to school the following day in the catholic school girl get-up and then churned out the Hit Me Baby One More Time hit when Fumble Finn called her out on it.

And do the kids not attend class? I’m pretty sure during the first few weeks of school, class attendance was mandatory; for teachers too (Mr. Schue! great setting of example there) and what’s with the soundtrack in the yellow car? If not enough, he decides to participate in the Toxic number.  Did Will go off on a bender during summer and isn’t quite right yet? Granted he sounds pretty great; could win Idols with that number but come on; he is a teacher. The song doesn’t raise his street cred; it makes him a loser; a sad, paedy loser.

Dear Ryan Murphy, get someone to read through your script. The glitter is being overshadowed by your uncomfortable ideas. If anything, the Artie hallucination should have made you lean back and think through the show.

Faithfully,

Hinged.

PS Britney S. Pierce is a caricature of her season one self. Right that shit up.

Tekken review

(Thought about ap un for the title but the movie is just about as bland) Whenever a video game, especially one I’ve played is made into a movie; I cringe and vow to never watch it but somehow it ends up on my screen and the pain is worse than I imagined. So it was with trepidation that I touched Tekken.

It’s way in the future and the world has imploded within itself and is ruled by companies that have sectioned off whole continents for themselves. One such company is Tekken. Jon Foo plays Jin Kazama, a kid who uses his martial arts skills to transport bootleg across slums, courting gangs and Tekken forces for payment in global dollars. His mother played by Tamlyn Tomita, highly disapproves, which causes a rift between them and he runs away from home despite the curfew.

He is found out as a bootleg courier and Tekken forces attack his mother’s home in search of him. He watches as the house is bombed. He walks through the aftermath, picking up what wasn’t destroyed and finds a connection between his mother and Tekken. He decides to enter the competition being hosted in the company as a way of getting to those who killed his mother.

So I didn’t cry watching the movie; out of sympathy or frustration but neither was I thrilled by it. The fight scenes are elaborate but predictable and the movie completely deviates from the game in the portrayal of women. Leave alone that females routinely defeat males in the game; in the movie, all they seemingly are good for is playing someone’s bed-friend. Further, the element of the underdog is not well played if it is played at all. It will be greatly different in a non-gamer’s eyes but not a complete 180 degrees. Even Tron wasn’t all that spectacular to me.

Prequel to Death

If it's unknown, well no more; I'm a movie geek and decided to present my take on a few silver screen efforts.

 If you heard of Death Race (DR) 2 and was extremely skeptical about it; you were in the same boat as I. If you however, knew it was coming and hunted it down with vigour; kudos to you. I heard of DR2 and didn’t even think of it twice. What more could they get out of DR that we didn’t already see in the first and quite frankly why ruin a good thing? Didn’t they learn from the Fast and the Furious?

 Seems they did actually; preferring to do the prequel to the story instead of a sequel. In DR2 we see the advent of commercial prisons and the brains and bodies behind Weyland’s Death Race. The prison’s infamy starts off with a riot that is caught on camera and pushes TV ratings for their parent company through the roof. The reporter, September Jones caught in the middle of the riot comes up with an idea of using the prisoners as entertainment through fights known as Death Match. Think WWE without the acted out punches and talk. She uses her body to push her agenda. The animosity among the prison gangs gives the program its edge but eventually, the ratings fall and the brains behind the Death Match comes up with Death Race after she hears a convict expertly drive through the soon-to-be circuit featured in Death Race.

 Carl is the convict, jailed for unintentionally shooting a cop during a botched bank robbery. He doesn’t see himself joining Death Match but is forced into it by September Jones. After Death Match is shut down, he is recruited into Death Race with the lure of his freedom.  

 Carl is played by Luke Goss who also features in Tekken. Lauren Cohan plays the manipulative September Jones while Ving Rhames adds star power o the flick as Weyland’s top man, Weyland. Tanit Phoenix plays Katrina Banks, Carl’s love interest. The movie is not winning any awards that have nothing to do with driving anytime soon but it is a worthwhile watch with plots flowing well into each other. The downside personally was the sex scene thrown into the works without precedence. Part of the charm of Death Race was the lack thereof one. Me thinks Paul Anderson got so much flack for it he decided to throw it in to shut people up.

S2E1

Living where I live means I don’t get to watch Glee up to date cause it’s LA Kenya not California but it does mean I can watch it in a day once downloaded. It also means that crap tends to be in brighter light when it’s packed in 24 whole hours. (Still griping about season two, yep.)

I could go on and on about how bad season two is and it would fill enough pages to be published as a supernovel twice over (think Lord of the Rings) but I have decided to go on another road called the correctional way. Thinking correcting is way better than whining about something without giving an alternative. I hate it when people do that; cry babies about one thing without giving alternatives; blegh. (I digress)

Season two had potential. I use the past tense because it’s gone too far to be redeemed. With all the hype from season one, episode one should have been an awesome trip. Not really. Anyone who’s been to school knows that when a club does enough to get to a level worth being noted on TV (their cheerleaders won Nationals) the following year, some people are going to be interested in it. Not necessarily the right people but people nevertheless.

The whole lack of people signing up was just wrong. I suppose the point was to make Glee out to still be a losers club but it’s hard to believe the school losers include the top cheerleaders and footballers. Even if the story is only fictional, it should have some level of realism since it’s based on real stuff. They should have picked someone with a lot less homeschooling or a lot more common sense to write that storyline. A few people should have signed up and shown up for the tryouts and sucked donkey hooves. That would have been hilarious. More so when Mike Chang would have said he was Celine Dion compared to them. Perfect set up to the Duets episode. The girl who wanted to join Cheerios but got bumped off should have signed up as a nose thumbing to Sue. Sure she’d have sucked but better that than “Awww, poor Schuester, sexiest teacher on grounds (I disagree) can’t muster enough hormones to sign up to the gig.”

Furthermore, the whole parking lot display should have gotten them an audience who for all the ignorance they gave the club after the Empire State of Mind performance, would have danced along to the music because no matter how much Glee massacred it, it still rocks. It would have given some cred to the club and at least raised its bar rather than kept it at the same level and in essence mediocre. Tsk, Murphy/Falchuk. Did you sleep all through the proof reading? And not jamming to it, is insulting; to HOVA. He should sue.

Faithfully,

Hinged.